Elyse's Life Advice
by Elyse Jankowski
Issue 4, Summer/Fall 2004
High school is one of the best and worst times in your life. You get to see your friends every day, go on awesome trips and take classes that actually interest you. You also stress about grades, make and lose confidants and struggle to find your place in the world. Those who think teenagers have it easy should think again.
Like everyone, I'm not perfect, but I do have a pretty darn good life. I would like to share some lessons I've learned over my four years in high school. As I prepare for college, I am glad that I made the most of my life these past years, and I know you can too.
School can be a drag. Especially for a student who struggles in class or simply does not want to be there. However, school is very important for your future. If you're having trouble and want to get better grades, don't keep to yourself. Talk to your teachers and your friends. They may be able to give you extra help. Study as much as you can and ask questions every day. Don't feel embarrassed to ask a question! You won't be when you ace that next test. If you put effort in, you will be pleased with the results. Believe me, I can be a very lazy person! But if you push yourself to work, it will be worth it.
If you already get good grades in school, keep it up! Don't feel intimidated by Honors or AP classes - take them! Challenge yourself and you will learn how to tackle difficult tasks. Don't slack off! I know it's tough (especially in senior year!) but you are capable of handling the work - prove it to yourself.
So, you're doing ok in school and it's the weekend. You want to go out but don't have any money. No, don't try to bum some off your parents. Get a job! It is often tough for teenagers to find jobs - except in the summer. The summer is the best time to hunt for employment. Many places need help and hire kids. You don't have to sacrifice your whole summer, but working a couple days a week is great. You'll get dough and experience and can even make some new friends. Come September, your boss may be so impressed with your work that you may be able to stay at your job. However, make sure it's understood that you will have less time to work during the school year. Too many kids work crazy hours on weeknights after school. Then, they lose time for studying and fun. Try to come up with a fair schedule that allows you to work and have time for yourself. You may not enjoy it, but working on weekends during the day is good because you will still have the nights to go out. Don't know where to start looking? Visit your school guidance office for job postings, listen up for job fairs, and check out your local paper.
Do you have a passion you want to share with those around you? Have you always wanted to be an entrepreneur? Why not start now? I created Stars and Scars to combine my love for music and writing and to promote bands. Now, many people know of the zine and I am learning more about my future career. I started working on the first issue in the summer to allow myself adequant time. It is tendious to have a zine, but not impossible. If you want to make your own, start small. Contact bands you want to work with and let them know about your new project. Talk to your friends and see if they would be interested in contributing articles. Go to shows, meet people and spread the word. Before you know it, you will have created a buzz. Now what? Choose a computer program to do your layout. It does not have to be fancy. Do take advantage of spell check and quote bands correctly. Find a cheap printer or use a copy machine. Your first issue isn't going to look like AP, but the content inside may be just as good! Give it out for free so everyone can see the work you've done. If you decide to continue with your zine, don't go too fast. You don't have to put an issue out every month. Try quarterly or bi-yearly to begin with. The zine will take up a lot of your time, but it does not have to become your absolute entire life.
Whew. Enough about work. It's time for some fun. If you're in to shows, try to find some in your area on the weekend. They usually run late and it may be tough to get yourself out of bed for school the next morning if you go out on a weeknight. Bring some friends along if you're shy. If you're outgoing, talk to others at the show and be your friendly self. If there aren't many shows in your area or they've gotten too expensive (can I get a hell yeah?) there are still cheaper, fun things to do. If you're in Jersey, you'll know what I'm talking about. There's a diner on every corner and a bowling alley in practically every town. Plan a gathering of all your friends. Go out to eat, bowl, play mini golf, go to an arcade, or even ice skating. These activities don't cost much money and are great ways to spend time with your buds. For an even cheaper event (if you have a big room and nice parents) have a get together at your house. Watch a movie, play silly games, or just talk. If you can't use your house, why not go to a park to chill? Friends are so important, especially when you're young and going through tough times. Don't avoid picking up the phone and just giving someone a call. You could make their day and yours.
Even though I am a Christian, I am not going to use this article to try and make you one too. However, I will tell you a bit about my faith. I didn't go to church as a kid, I never understood religion nor did I ever feel that spirituality was really important. This year, my senior year in high school, all of that changed. My friends began telling me about a youth group called ORB (Outreach Red Bank). I decided to go and was amazed at what I found: a group of kids my age and older leaders, all having a blast together. They played games, danced to music and everyone was kind to one another. There was also Bible study, too. I opened my ears to the Word and sang along with the songs of worship. Why hadn't I ever listened before? I started going to ORB every week as well as Sunday night service and I realized something. I needed faith. I craved it. I became more aware of God's presence in my life and I knew that whenever good things happened to me, it was because of Him. My life is honestly so much better with my new-found spirituality. It has helped me stay level headed and happy. No matter what religion you are, if you practice your faith and believe, you will find comfort. As a teenager, I need stability and I found that stability through spirituality. If you aren't quite sure what you believe, I would encourage you to learn more about different religions. It may completely change your life for the better.
I have reached the last topic: happiness. All of the things I have mentioned previously in this article can be sources of happiness. However, I want you to know that the true source of happiness is yourself. Negative emotions can sometimes seem like they dominate our lives, but they don't have to. If you want to be angry, you will be angry. But if you want to be happy, you can be happy. While a social life is crucial for a teenager, make sure you have alone time, too. Being happy with yourself is so important. Think about the good qualities you possess and try to work on your faults. When you love yourself, you can do anything.
With all of that said, I hope I have given useful advice. High school is tough. Your teen years are tough. But you can get through them and you can be sucessful. Take it from someone who knows.